This is it. Only it isn't.
I've bin trying to get this down on silver gelatin for ages. This is not the result - it's merely an imitation of the required result. Sure, it was shot on proper film in a proper old folding folder camera of some age or other - as if it matters anyway.
The real thing eludes me. By real I mean creating with sweat and probably blood in a smelly damp darkroom. I'm going to get in and shine a light through this neg soon onto the oldest paper I have and then throw it in with crappy developer an all. That's the way I feel about it. It may work. But it won't. I can feel it in my bones. And if you had the bones I have you might know what I mean.