Can you believe it? I'm nearly wiped tonight out by some demented banshee racing along with abandon in a black range rover through Laxdale at about 80mph. I'm still shaking.

Maybe I should have realised earlier that things were going to be weird when I bump into some politico chap in a yellow tie smiling at me at the community shop. "We've met before, at the community centre." he said. Smiling nicely. He was right as it happens. I was hijacked that day whilst on a nice stroll round the village when no-one had probably turned up for his 'surgery' and I was called over by a village worthy. "Do you have any influence at all in the British parliament?" I recall I asked him. I did get an answer and he was very pleasant. But then I looked up his voting records and realised I could never vote for him - nice as he is.