Biker Crofter

You lot think I make most of this up don't you? You can't make this sort of thing up.

I was over at The Crofter a few days past, passing the time of day, pulling my foot out of a cow-pat and avoiding having to help feed the pigs when Dad Crofter comes out with the fact he used to be a biker. I wrote about this phenomena on Island Crofters blog - an everyday tale of Crofter folk - without Jazzer but with cows and pigs. And now I have the proof. Well, I have the proof that Mum Crofter was a Biker's Moll [a motorbike rider's lady companion for all you Aussie readers so you don't get the wrong idea], here in the snap on the right seen on the left and looking far all the world like the snap was taken yesterday. The chap by her side was Jon - and we don't talk about Jon do we? No.

Dad Crofter, I'm told is the one with the Skull and Crossbones on his designer jacket - because he wus dubble 'ard an all.

The snap of the motorbike was Biker Crofter's Triumph Trophy - "The American model don't forget" I was told. I haven't forgotten eh?

Nice snaps too - proper development issues an all. Must be authentic :-)

The peats are in; The peats are in. The peats.....

Yay, many thanks to Donald Four Tractors who sparked up his faded red old Massey-Ferguson [ ["'ere, I paid £50 for her 25 years ago and I haven't yet changed the oil"] - with a little help from a coin [don't ask me???] - and brought our peats in off the moor.

I was over at The Crofter this morning, passing the time of day, fending off the amorous turkey and snapping up Bertha et al when I noticed Mr 4 Tractors playing with one of the aforsaid tractors in the next door croft. I ventured closer for a little look-see; the tractor was replete with an antique grass wobbling machine [or something like that] attached to the back. Mr 4 tractors saw me and wandered over. "Hiya" I said with a really positive tone in my voice. "Helloo" he said in his lovely accented voice honed by years of Gaelic speaking every time a tourist came around his way :-) "Bout time we brought your peats in isn't it? ". I nodded encouragingly, smiled and everything and we chatted on passing on the news that one does round these parts. In time Mr 4 tractors wandered off, sparked up The Beast in a cloud of diesel smoke and trundled off down to the cliff-edge where he was to salvage another old tractor. Well, one can never have too many can one?

Later in the day, I was reading The Guardian in our smallest room - sad news about MI6 man found dead in flat in London who, it transpired when I had seen an image of him I had coached in my previous job at the Manchester Velodrome - the phone rang. It always rings when I am in that room. I called back to the caller who had not left a message. " It's me Donald" came the reply. Now, in North Tolsta this is not much help unless you recognise the voice snce half the village is called Donald. It was, however Mr 4 tractors and did I fancy getting the peats in today? I did and we met a little while later but not before I had cajoled Mr Crofter to come and give us a hand.

Along came Mr 4 tractors - put-put-put etc but lo and behold it wasn't the same tractor as he was on earlier. Oh no, the first tractor has decided not to play any more - the fan belt broke - and it was only 10 years old - the belt not the tracotr!!! The Crofter and I hopped up on the trailer, endured a spine jarring ride over the rough peats tracks to my peat banks, loaded up the bags and came home. In no time the bags were unloaded and the tea brewed [80C green tea for me], fig newtons un-wrapped and the world put to right.

Brilliant! Many thanks Mr Crofter and Mr 4 Tractors for helping me with getting the peats in. Much appreciated. And no, I have no snaps of the event so put up with this one of Mr Crofter feeding Maclaren and Doris in the Byre.

BTW; there's more on Mr Crofter over at Island Crofter blog if you don't know.

Not normal. Not anything really

2008 snow

Look, I'll have you know we have no snow here. Well, just a smidgen hanging on in the cold weather. However, in true winter stylee, we can see loads out there on the mainland where the big mountains shine white - or at least pinkish - in the morning sun.

I say this as its all I can see out of the window as this flipping flu is hanging on for dear life. My stuffed rabbit - Lord Wiesmier - has been giving my funny looks of late in bed as I sweat uncontrollably and then freeze as I cool down and stoke the fire. its not easy you know.

It seems my work chum's wife has gone down with the lurgee too so goodness knows what is going to happen if William goes down with it.

And The Crofter is down with it. I hear that he is not blaming me. Which is surprising since I did go and visit him in the early stages when I thought it was just a cough. Mum & Dad crofter are now in Crofter Towers looking after the animals and generally patting The Crofter's sweated brow. I have been invited to come and photograph on Christmas Morning and, if I feel a bit better I might just do that. I had planned that.

So, here's a very hearty thanks to all you who read this blog and very best wishes for a fine 2010.

Croftlife

 

I know you have spotted it but I have been down to The Crofter gaff recently. When I say gaff - I mean the barn where the sheeps and coows are. I notice they've been popping out fresh miniature ones as of late. Making a right racket too as The Crofter plays with them and Dad Crofter does the hard work moving stuff from back there to the front bit.

Five years on, a normal day on the island.

 Mrs  'Up Yours' MacIver tries to sell me some tat.

No, I didn't buy it. Do I look daft? We may be celebrating five wonderful years in North-Tolsta but this we didn't need. At least, I don't think I need it only I'm not actually sure what I was being sold. Tat obviously, but what sort of tat I don't know.

 The school walks to the beach

Meanwhile, back home I notice the school walking to a beach to have a barbi or perhaps roast a teacher on a spit or something like that. The held up the car that was trying to go down the road anyway.  They are just passing the Crofter's pad on the left - that's why they are all walking quickly :-)

 The Crofter basks in the sun while earning a crust - so someone can bite a crust!

The Crofter waves as they pass [feels like Blue Velvet movie as I write] and the school breaks en-masse into a trot.

Knowledge and Safety

Stuart wasn't impressed. Neither was the rabbit in his garden - or his son for that matter. Their garden is almost cleared ready for the trampoline - no doubt concreted in to stop it disappearing into the sea behind the house.

Iseabail making the peat-stack

I notice that Iseabail and Hector have almost finished their lovely peat-stacks ready for my annual picture taking of the beasts. They are, it has to be said, a work of art.

Royston and Ziggy

Meanwhile, a quick visit to Royston and Ziggy to see they were well as can be. They were I'm pleased to say.

Such was my morning five years after arriving here.

The Crofter + 1

See, I can post this here because The Crofter doesn't look here and neither does Gemma. Took their snapity thing the other day. I would tell what day it was but it was Sunday and someone might get uppity round here for some reason. Ah well, it wasn't 'work' but merely feeding their egos and that's allowed me thinks.

Typical, they look in opposite directions when I say snipity snap or fromage or something. Just hope this is not a foretaste of things to come. No, I'm reliably told it's Gemma and The Crofter working together to make sure that Widdle, the incontinent home based sheeps doesn't get in on the act.

The crofter is still here.

 

Mr And Mrs crofter are still here. Kids and Dad Crofter too.

I know, unusual to see him smiling but he did have a childlette locked to his leg at the time and, he wasn't making teeth. Rather, he was taking the opportunity of the slightly less windy and slightly drier weather to knock nails into wood in the pretence of making something big.  Childlette was shy at this moment while big sister was at school.

I took the snap as I was using the old Minolta A3 rangefinder camera from the year of my birth - and it still works rather well. I wish I did.

I am listening to this though.

and agin

 

If I remember correctly this was the day a space vehicle hovered overhead and I just managed a quick snap before it went.

Just back from a short stroll to see the crofter; the sun is shining though there were threatening clouds which I put down to Eve bing out on her bike. Teh, whilst chatting to Dad crofter - state of the world and an update on out many  ailments when my dodgy knee gave way with an accompanying surge of excruciating pain. As it happens the crofter and his opp Sam were off oop the road to Dad's croft to collect hurdles [that's the sort of excitement that happens here] so I blagged lift the 200m home :-).

uw&s

 

Took one of my short frequent strolls down to see The [local] Crofter. A modern day crofter who makes teeth and has a petting herd of coows, sheeps, goat, pigs, geese, hamsters and ferrets. plus two dogs - one who hates me.

This is Top and Tail, two of the miniature goat who love me - when I have some food in my hand.

This the modern crofter in his splendor both snaps with the old, cheap and broken Vivitar UW&S camera.

Yes, it's colour. Of sorts.

Mr Crofter on the pier

It's not all black and white up here you know. The sea looks right loverly when the sun is out. So much so I loaded the Olympus XA2 with Chinese Lucky200 film and shot. Once through the sheep dip developer, I have colour. Well, a sort of colour anyway. The Lucky colour film is actually quite good but somehow the first image was, 'interesting' as they say. I didn't alter the scan as I rather like it that way. The Crofter doesn't always seem so off-colour as you can see here.

Eve, chillin.

On the other hand, I did sort this one on PS. I like this too.

Pier culture

But best of all, is in fact a B&W print of old Kodak Polymax RC paper soaked in sepia. Mr Crofter's coow. The texture arrived all by it'self!

Eh?

Did I tell you?

I'm giving a little talkette in an Lanntair on this Thursday.
Entitled The Crofter's Covfefe it's a phycho-social longitudinal ethnographic photo study of an English crofter in North Tolsta here on the Isle of Lewis. Basically, I tootled down the road and snapped up my pal Paul.

Starting at 7pm there are some excellent talks by proper artists too Gill Thompson, Pearse O'Halloran and Margaret Ferguson.

The Crofter's long necked duck things show what they think of me

Sunshine - Hey!

I looked out the window, Lord Wiesmier with his new companion Gertrude [Dirty Gertie] snuggled by his side and noticed the strange glow. It was the sun again! Eve and I shot out of bed - eventually - once the obligatory chocolate breakfast had been consumed, threw on our boots and set off down t'road to get The Crofter.

At The Crofters

The Crofter was suspiciously happy. Not sure it was anything to do with his recent night out, or he was pleased to see us. It didn't really matter since the sun was shining and the geese had not attacked me. The stroll down the road to the beach was lovely - even if it was straight into the bright sunshine. I'm not complaining as we have not seen it much recently. Three personages came the opposite way casting their greetings willy-nilly. 

SlartibartfastLand

We passed my favourite local landscape - no doubt sculpted by Slartibartfast a few millennia back whilst practising for the fjords.

The beach was deserted. No sand either. Must be the local builders nicking it all - or perhaps the recent storms took it away. Must have at least 1.5 m depth of the stuff gone. The resulting gritty beach that is left is not the most appealing but, we were there, the sun was shining and so were the birdy things flapping around the place.

The beach sported a sign warning not to proceed further. Must have been because of The Crofter's dodgy tum - or maybe the sign had been swept there by the storm. We ignored it anyway. As one does and enjoyed the peace of the grit covered beach.

We had a lovely time since you ask - not that you could tell by looking at the snaps! 

The day of the incident

Twas a while back now, when a real summer seemed nere a dream, the winter had not long retreated and The Crofter was up to his armpits in something smelly. A loud scraping noise emanated from down the road and as a car came to a halt, the racket stopped too. Hector's old trailer had fallen apart after a few years resting on a village croft. I shot down to the scene at a leisurely pace with The Crofter. A wheel of the trailer had parted company from the thing itself. As I reported before, rust has got into the metal and rendered it somewhat weak. Hector and The Crofter turned the trailer on its side - and the other wheel fell off. I only had the Agfa Record 6x9 with me but I shot the scene all the same then forgot I had.
Today Mr Leica Man gave me the film from the camera to scan as I had lent him the camera for a while. And this image was on it.

Hector inspects a rogue wheel

Dad crofter

 

This is dad crofter, otherwise known as David. Lovely chap who we see often and who pops in for a cuppa from time to time which is lovely.Now over 21 but still going strong helping round the crofter's place.

This was on foma400 @ 800 in rodinal. eh?

I'm still stalking The Crofter

See, that's The Crofter and the BoyShaun out feeding up the coows on the apportionment. That's the sort of exciting thing that happens here. You can see the BoyShaun is standing to attention while The Crofter climbs back o'er the fence.The coows had to be distracted with dry food so the the boys could take the roll of straw stuff into the field. I use that term loosely here.

It was, I might add, a tad damp underfoot/wheel. So I took the Zork4 camera armed with the Jupiter 8 lens and that seemed ok in the conditions.

There's more of this sort of rubbish here. Years of it actually!

meanwhile

 

 

The crofter is still doing crofter things like adding cow pats down the road outside t'house. Not sure why the crofter took them for a walk but he did. Perhaps the coow physician paid a visit. 

He has open croft for visits soon. Not quite sure of the details but Eric the bull is really looking forward to seeing you.

For the tech nerds, I used a camera for this shot using Fomapan 200 sloshed in Rodinal. The camera was Canon EOS something that a kind personage gifted me. so now you know.

The Crofter's life. Such as I see it

The Ryeland sheeps of Mum Crofter gets moved from here to there. To have some of Mrs Up-Yours' grass. They like that. Apparently.

Meanwhile the village life goes on. Occasional people wandering around in the sunshine wondering where the beaches are. Childlettes on their bikes racing round and falling off from time to time. That's life as a cyclist.

Island Crofters

I have commenced a longer photographic project that hopefully documents the lives of a crofter in my village here on the Isle of Lewis. I will just be using B&W film and in the main 35mm cameras.
The crofter Paul is an in/offcomer and supplements his income as a dental technician and his family live in the village too - helping him run the busy croft. The project will be put on the blog Island Crofters. Hope you visit from time to time.

Dad Crofter

 

David, the Crofter's dad who still come and works a bit on the croft. Calls in home here for a cuppa now and again which is really lovely. A chance to catch up on all the local goings on.

He's just had a cataract done and waiting for the other too. We are very lucky up here with the quality of the NHS.

Oh, on another note have a look at the blog of artist Tom Hickman

Autumn is still here

 

Eve in Autumn outfit - the same as summer really but with hat. at the Crofter's gaff while Paul the crofter plays with his sheeps and Keith the cat wonders why he bothered to go along.