The hole opened up before me and I almost fell in.

The hole I refer to is part of this performance. Where I slip imperceptibly down the happiness ladder as I await someone [not here on the island I might add] to get themselves into gear and get 'stuff' done. You can see what sort of state I am in using colour and everything - albeit dipped in used sheep-dip or something, hence the marks. And it's been in a Holga too. Eh? Have I lost it? Probably.

That's dearest Eve who crept into the shot to ensure I didn't take a landscape. Eve looks after me properly you see.

These are sheeps. That's what they look like. Well, the white woolie backs anyway. We were on a little stroll at the end of the village. This is where we live. The sun is shining now too - as it was then. But it is very cold. Even Her Highness Henrietta Cartier Bresson [the cat] prefers to sit in front of the fire.

Apologies, I shall lie down now if you don't mind.

This is not one of them...

Crofter in a strange world

I was talking to my Galleriest and framer [blush] over at Oiseval Gallery in Brue this afternoon. I'd taken a jaunt over there with the recently retired Toots of Bac and soon the conversation ended up on my stylee of snapping and presenting my snaps.

You see, I believe that ones snaps should be captured, printed and displayed as part of a whole 'performance'. It's not just point an over pixelled machine at a beach press another button and hey presto, a print comes out. Of course I am waffling, trying to make out I'm something I am not, but isn't that what we all do?  

The taking of the snap, the print itself, title of the print, the price, the making of the print in the darkroom and the reactions to the viewer are all part of the 'performance'. And I can perform I can tell you! 

Just remember this little sermon when and if you view my hand-made lith-prints in the show soon at An Lanntair [and no, the exhibitioniony is not on their website or anywhere else either! Wouldn't want people to know about it would we?] . Eh?

Ice-cream head

Twas cold today. Has been for a while really. The only thing was, as I strolled past the newly built mansion - Theresa Towers - just up the road, my head felt awfully cold. I mean so cold I was transported back to childhood ice-cream gulping times when that headache from eating really cold stuff appears. I couldn't find my rather stylish hat. There are loads lurking round the place but just could not find the right one.

Eve had a similar problem although removing ones neck so you get your head lower into your warm coat is somewhat going to extremes. But that's Eve for you now she is a year older. Well, a day older than yesterday anyway.

And yes, we have had a little dusting of snow. I duly snapped it up with this ever-so-slightly not focussing camera just so you can [almost] see it.

Playing in the darkroom

There is one thing I like to do and that is play in the darkroom - especially when it's cold and wet outside. But not so wet that it comes into the darkroom!

And No, The Crofter doesn't have a big forehead - even though perhaps it is advancing backwards a little. Was trying do some anamorphosic images. That sort of thing anyway.

If you lean into the pooter screen, taking care not to disturb the cat sleeping on the keys, and squint into the image from your right - it looks,, well, different. Not sure I have got this sorted yet.  Shall we call this a work in progress?

Happy Birthday to you........

My dearest Eve has her birthday today So will you all please stand up NOW and sing!

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Evelyn
Happy birthday to you

Thank you.
Eve is the most wonderful woman, civil partner and true love that I could ever imagine being with. And doesn't mind when I eat bananas in the car :-)

We shall be celebrating with a meal out in the evening along with The Crofter who celebrated his 40th last Thursday - and is probably still getting over the hangover.

A skin of banana or something

Mrs Up Yours McIver aka Dot-Ross McIver - trying to sell me something.

We have an author in the village. Have I told you that? Actually, now I come to think of it there are at least two - one of which is Mrs Up Yours. She has a blog Unbound - which is so bonkers it comes with a health warning. She was wittering about nearly slipping on an iced-up banana skin while out jogging this morning [as if...]. I'm sure she said that! Only, obviously she realises now she's lost the plot and deleted the post. Just as well as I was going to sue her for defamation or summut as the banana skin wasn't frozen when I last saw it. And the weather is really quite mild at the moment. Apart from the days it snowed. And those when it froze. Apart from that.

Oh no. Another one bites the dust!

Just when is getting in the groove with a particular camera, learning to see its way, knowing its foibles  the flippin thing falls off a chair and refuses to work! Can you believe it?

It's a wonder there is no dent in the floor as this camera is heavyish but instead the lens refuses to move - neither to focus it or to take it off! And it's a lovely Jupiter12 too. Fixed, seemingly permanently onto a Kiev4 - which does still fire it's shutter.

Oh well, such is life. I shall now return to being a 50mm photographer now - unless I can get a ltm Jupiter 12 :-)

In the meantime enjoy a snap for the last roll of film through the camera - the son of my pooter Dr - with his best friend. Rollei400s@800

The two headed cyclist that could have been an Ace Tone, but it wasn't

Back in the day. Back then.
When the rain rained, the wind blew, the cyclists cycled and The Two did Tandem, I shot this snap. Not sure when in the day but I did. I'm still drying out yet it was six months ago. It might have been the same roll of film that these top two came from. It doesn't matter anyway. The point is, I found this neg somewhere and I liked it. So I printed it - without any mathematical formula and everything. On Slavich Unibrom too.

It might end up in An Lanntair where a former Ace Tone lurks.

1+1=19. Possibly.

I was listening to some esteemed programme on the radio whilst out wrestling miscreants to the ground this evening - specifically the relationship between mathematics and music. Some years ago I sat through a concert at the Bath Festival listening to Messian's Quartet for the end of time. It certainly felt like the end of time ! Apparently the musics' structure incorporates two prime numbers [I know not what I say, I'm just repeating what I heard]. The same Festival I listened to a tremendous Vox Balaenea by George Crumb where at the same concert, sat on hard church seats I dozed through some 'erb telling me about his plinky-plonky prepared piano piece of 'music' based on some mathematical formula. I only awoke when it sounded like the place had been bombed - to find the 'erb smiling in that self-satisfied way that is so very annoying.

Thrilled that my way of seeing had been recognised at last I have decided to present to you my latest creation based, as you might imagine on a complicated formula, so intense that I for one have not figured out yet. But, trust me, when I do you will be the first to know. Don't wait up though since Maths was never my strong point.

It is a darkroom print though. A lith print on Russian Slavich paper which brings a gravitas and uniqueness all of it's own. If I'm not mistaken, it may be a snap from the Retinette1a camera on polypan-f film taken in An Lanntair.

Yes, it's obvious, why did I not see that before ? Eh?

Do we like it?

I seem to be getting more than my fair share of exposure these days. I thought it felt chilly.

For some reason the good rabbits of the duck-type at Duck-Rabbit [don't ask] felt they would like to give this blog a mensch on their blog celebrating International Women's day. I'm flattered. And probably just about to blush or something. I think I can still blush. If I try - perhaps a sniff of sepia-juice might help!

Anyway, since the weather is still lovely - sun and what have you, I have been taking the air don't you know. Strolling round the village with my head held high but looking out the corner of my eye in case I see something to snap. Nothing much has changed. This bus shelter is still where it was before. No doubt if Jonathan Meades had ventured up the village he would wax lyrical about the thing, words falling out his loquacious mush faster than a flock of Hebrideans sheeps after a shaken plastic bag of feed. But to me, it just sits there.

The jolly old stroll took me up past Timbukthree Mansions where I espied John A passing the time of day with a fellow crofter. "Hello" I said, for that is the sort of wordy greeting I favour on days like this. We blethered a bit and I walked on only to meet Barry and his doggie Boycey [to be totally honest, it may not be Boycey. I really should remember as Barry's son told me it's name too. I like Boycey as a name for a doggie this big anyway. Sort of suits him].

Boycey is a Great Dane I think. The sort whose slobber is worse than it's look. Boycey is the one without the beard BTW.

On the photo front as you can see I snapped some snaps - as I do. This lot on Polypan-f which I developed in Rodinal 1:75 - all night as I retired to bed before washing the stuff out and fixing it. Didn't seem to do it much harm. I celebrated that today with a darkroom sesh playing with Lith. I might show you that another day.

Stop start sort of day

This is the nth time I have commenced the blog-work. The leci has been going on and off like the MV Muirneags sailing schedule - in the winter. No idea what's going on but at least the washing machine thing finished it's business before the chaos started.

The weather is so lovely here at the moment - I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear - that my planned for darkroom session that would have been thwarted anyway by Messers Scottish Hydro - was put on the back burner and I strolled the village taking in the sunshine. Mr Four Tractors was out on one of his crofts re-fencing it and showing me the soft mossy ground. Lovely I thought.
Then I met The Weaver - thankfully with the dog that bit my rear-end muzzled and chained in the yard :-)

I shall be back to normal in the morning - hopefully.

Portraits

As you may be aware, I don't do landscapes. They are not 'me'. I don't connect to them and they don't talk to me. Unlike William. Just Willaim is my former work colleague who 'stays' [the local for 'lives'] in Cromor miles from here. But a wonderful place don't you know? Probably not but I do. Trust me.

Here's William doing what he does best, talking. I was listening, nodding sagely from time to time - in between supping my fine Mocha in the Woodlands Cafe in the castle grounds.

See, that's not a landscape is it? That's our William

We have a craft/art shoppe in Stornoway that I visit on occasion to soak up some art-vibes or whatever one looks for to make nice snaps. They sell art paper and what have you. Lots of it and sometime I buy it - when I want to make cyanotypes - on account that if it's art-paper I must be making art - right?. So I felt Ok about sneaking this little snappette of Mrs Craft-Shoppe practising painting or something in her window. This isn't a landscape either is it, eh?

Mrs Art-Craft Shoppe

Strangely and a little worryingly I have had a request how I made the snap from yesterdays post. The real answer is I have no idea but, I did use a camera with film in it - albeit slow film. Shot from the hip at 'things' with 1 second[ish] exposures. Then printed it as a Lith-print. Hope that helps! I couldn't do it again if I wanted to. 

With full apologies for those of you who come here looking for 'gentle madness'.

Eat your heart out John Rankin Waddell! You may have been on Desert Island Discs this morning, amassed a fortune taking nice snaps, be well known, have a nice range in books etc etc, but you didn't take this snap did you? Eh?

Of course I realise you may not want to take this snap. But trust me, if you are reading this Rankin me fellow, this is Art - apparently. You can tell it's art because it isn't like the rest of the snaps you see, it not immediately obvious what or where it is and, and take special note of this, it has a touch of the Sabi of Wabi about it. There. I've said it!

Perhaps I might even warm up the Raeburn and do a Pre-Brazilian on it.

Special code for those IN THE KNOW :-) Lith print on Slavich Unibrom / Polypan-f/ Rodinal/ Retinette 1a.

It feels like this today. Probably. It certainly is as cold anyway.

Are you feeling it?
I mean, look at the snap with your eyes partially closed. Open the windows wide and take your clothes off. Now do you feel it?
Right, that's enough, get dressed again before I get arrested for inciting a nude-in.

Stornoway was cold today. Eve and I just managed a quick shifty round the place before retiring to Mr Windy's to celebrate his day of birth. Lovely.

Now this snap, since I know you'll be thinking what a load of tosh it is, is meant to be like this. I envisioned it though I hadn't realised it at the time. Now it has appeared, I realise my mistake.

Do you like it? It's lith btw. From a section of a 35mm polypan-f neg. Eh?
Don't ask.

Quietude

I do try to spend a while in quietude contemplating my breath every day. It helps me 'be', see the world as it is and brings some levelness into my life.

I don't always look this happy.

Her Highness Henrietta Cartier-Bresson

Her Highness Henrietta Cartier-Bresson is still unsure about having her picture taken - even when it's with a good old Russian lens. Perhaps it's because of the lens - memories from lives past and all that. Or maybe its just that Coelyne of the Coelynes has given her the nod! No doubt in time she will conceed to keeping her pretty little head still.

All the same, she is fine. Her physician said she's fine. And now she has a very upmarket collar - with a bell and everything. Just as well the staff at the Feline Physician's knew they had to curtsey in Her Highnesses presence. Henrietta sends her heartfelt thanks.

Sir Chris Hoy would be proud

The local yoof were out and about during the recent school holidays. Enjoying the sun and calm weather we seem to have had an abundance of recently. All kitted up with helmets - as they should too. I remember Jason Queally used to tell a story about how he fell off his bike just pedalling quietly in Aussie somewhere. He hit his head but the helmet broke the fall, saved his head if not the helmet. So it's great to see the yoof learning early. Sir Chris Hoy would be proud. BTW: Chris got married in what he tells me is Hebridean tartan. Eh? How good is that? Very, since you ask. [Now there's a great marketing opportunity - for anyone that could afford him].

Tolsta Yoof massive

I'm not holding my breath on the council recognising the benefits of cycling on the island though. If they were sheeps we'd be sorted! Imagine more bikes than cars in Stornoway! Can you? Healthier peoples as a result. Less pollution, slower and cheaper life, time to see the world as it is. 

Those old bits of road you see alongside the newly laid tarmac 'main-roads' would make great cycle paths. More cycle tourists on the islands would bring more business to the place. Cyclists need somewhere to stay, need something to eat and somewhere to mend their bike if it breaks down. Just imagine.

A perfect place for cycling

I didn't tell you I was going to make two posts today did I?

It's because of Henrietta Cartier Bresson, the cat. No I have no snaps of her yet. We don't know each other that well yet. I took it upon myself to appoint a physician for her this morning. HCB will have a full-check up in the morrow then she will be able to check out the policies so to speak. She sits contently to my left on the settee in the Summer Parlour acutely aware of any moves I make towards her food dish. I think that's what one calls love isn't it?

Before you read any further  I implore you to go to this site, turn on your speakers, point to a title of a track and listen to the superb sound - it's Jean-Pierre Almy, an old pal of mine playing the, the stringy thing whilst the lady sings wonderfully. You can enjoy the sounds while you gaze lovingly here.

The pinhole camera had an outing recently. I still find it amazing how much information you can squeeze through a small hole. I managed a whole house! Having said that, there is a slight flaw in my ingenious shutter design incorporating a packet of fruit pastels - in that it seems to let the light in when it shouldn't. Apart from that it's brilliant. I shall try the chocolate box - I shall just have to consume the chocs first!

Nearly all this huge housey managed to squeeze through the hole in the camera front!

And The Crofter having his cup of tea made it through too.

So there we have it!

There you are; a couple of quick and dirty cyanotypes printed without further ado [or safety net] at the Barvas Craft Workshops last Saturday. I mentioned this before but had such a fine time and now the paper has dried on these I'd thought I use the excuse to post them. This first image [not snap] is by The Coelynes from a d*g*tal camera and neg [excuse me a moment while I wash my mouth out with soap and water]. Coelyne of the Coelynes dunked the print into some tannin juice I had lurking nearby hence the tone. Nice eh? Of course, it's Mcleod's stone - and I would never be caught taking a snap of such a place [I'd do it quietly on my own when I wasn't looking].

Now, this monstrosity is my creation from some 'stuff' Coelyne of the Coelynes left lying about. I rather liked it so it joined the other print in the tannin juice.
Thanks to all for putting the event on - great fun.

BTW: If you like reading proper things and everything, and don't mind a bit of barking mad then visit Mrs Up Yours' new blog - Unbound. It surely should have been Unhinged I'm sure but there you are. Have a Look NOW

Barefoot in Barvas

Yeay! I met the lovely Barefoot Crofter whilst sloshing blue water round the vicinity of my display table over at Barvas and Brue Community Centre Craft Workshop/Fayre. It's so nice to meet fellow bloggers and islanders. That's really the only reason to do a demo at all - just another excuse to have a blether!

Some really great 'stuff' out there. I mean - extreme knitting?????? Yoghurt weaving or something? I know I made that last one up but it only a matter of time before that turns up at such an event.
 Coelyne of the Coelynes came along to lend a hand and supply the lovely well-crafted fine-art images that the Oiseval Gallery is well known for. Although these were of the cyanotype type!

Looks like the PM has been down on the beach 'pier', leaving his tag along with that of his muse or someone. And yes, that is rain-drops on the lens. It doesn't rain often [in one day] but it did catch me out this day on the peir.

It didn't wash the little lump of dried toothpaste off my nose though - which I then must have paraded around the village and elsewhere until I went to the bathroom later ! Why does no-one tell you such a thing?? Eh?

I know I am grimacing. I know it doesn't suit me at all - any more than that toothpaste on the tip of my nose does!!

I blame it on Coelyne of the Coelynes

Yesterday, over at the Oiseval Gallery where Coelyne of the Coelynes hangs out, he chided me to 'express myself using the Hasselblad' or some such nonsense like that. So I took him at his word, loaded some suitably out of date and well matured Ilford FP4 into the old Hassie and set off down to the beach hereabouts.

Twas lovely I have to admit - even though a little rain came and dampened me a little. And the climb back up nearly killed me - so much so I popped over to Bac Pharmacy to see if my blood pressure was still on the scale. It was as it happens. Only not so low as it could be. Must be all the pressure of taking a landscape type portrait that did it.

That's this century's landscape done then!

For Coelyne of the Coelynes

See, two specialed-up snaps especially for the Coelyne of the Coelynes. Henerietta Cartier-Bresson asked me to post these. Seems like she is in charge round here now!

No, I don't know what they are - or even if they are the right way up, or down for that matter. Who cares? Nice sploges and everything, made with love and care. Selected especially for my co-cyanotyper and everything.

Just as well Coelyne of the Coelyne does not actually read this stuff. I caught him only looking at the snaps yesterday and not ploughing his way through this carefully composed trollop. :-)

Crafting at Barvas

If I can find this print, I might just have it on show at the Barvas and Brue Community Crafty thing this Sat - over at Barvas and Brue Community Centre. Tis a lovely place with lots going on all through the year - even singing and dancing for goodness sakes!

Many apologies, it's me. Looking all,,,, all,,, something. And everything. The print is a cyanotype and myself and Coelyne of the Coelynes will be demonstrating how two disparate types of print-makers can make a mess of the affair in two totally different ways!

I have also produced a couple of glass-plates taken yesterday which, given a fair wind and some positive vibes, I will attempt to transpose into a cyanotype print before your very eyes - without even a safety net [sits back and waits for applause]. Mind you, you might have to watch for a while as the old glass plates [Ilford R25 if you really want to know] are a bit dense and messy to boot. Perhaps I should have emailed Ilford to complain since they are only about 30 years out of date.

Yes, it's me again. I mean, who else can you get a short notice to sit nearly still in front of Toot's 4x5? Eh? And I don't come cheap either! Actually, I moved purposely so you can't see how much I have aged between shots - about 10 mins apart. :-)

Apparently, it all starts at 2pm.

I make no apologies

The sun is shining and if you think I'm going to spend precious hours thinking of something snappy to say here, you are going to wait a long time today.

In the meantime, two snaps in homage to Andre Kertesz.

Reminder

That last snap reminds me of this place - The Somerset Levels. Me elder skin and blister lives there and Mum used to.

See, I used to be able to make a nice snap. I may be able to again one day :-(

Over Cromor way. Nearly.

Took ourselves off to see William and Gemma over at the wonderful village of Cromor. The sun was shining again so we took a little detour round the area. Not that there are many options. This is the road. Nice innit?
I snook around with the Ilford Sporti camera with HP5, sloshed it in Rodinal 1:100 for a while and here we have it.

BTW: the sun is still shining :-)

That'll learn you!

I might be back but Mrs 'Up Yours' might well be joining the sphere of blogging. Now, if you think this is gentle madness............ I shall keep you up dated as it were.

Now, this cheerfull chappie, who, as it happens lives down the road near the sheeps of The Crofter [in a house and everything - unlike the sheeps] had been spraying the next door hoosey with gravel or something. Sort of making it more cosy I suppose. Certainly it looks nicer but this snap caught The Worker* not smiling - for the fiirst time ever.[*Yes, I do know his name but not how to spell it!]. The Worker was in a dilemma [A bit like a Cortina but with less panache] as to whether to really smile, grimace or merely 'be'. You can make your mind up what he chose. I miss his cheery demeanour outside now.

Back with more gentle madness

Been away. With the fairies a bit, in England a bit and now, at last I am back with access to the pooterland.
I missed saying stuff. There are piles of negs here so be warned!

In the meantime, enjoy this portrait of a loch from a recent stroll with the Smitlings.

A path to the cemetery

If one pops over the road from here, down onto croft number 10, go down the field and you'll come across this. A lovely path that courts the land between the top of the crofts and their bottoms. It passes down the way towards the long beach to the village cemetery. Only there's a road down to the cemetery now from further up the village and this path sees little use - bar a few animals and Clocks who passes this way from time to time. And me.

Where is this, eh?

It's a door. A nice door. An old door too. With a supermarket trolley outside. In Stornoway. I ask you? In Stornoway?

Mr Toots showed me it. I'd seen it before as it happens but missed the huge bell that hangs on the wall just above. Twas for to bring the childlings into the school - when it was a school - or something like that.

You didn't think I'd resist did you?

I can hardly ever resist taking a portrait of this place - it lies just down the road a few moments stroll from where I sit tapping out this. Nice isn't it eh? Apart from over Skye way I can't recall a place like it. [ Just in case you look at the link, it is, I know a tad bigger on Skye - and of different rock etc - so Eve tells me . Typical; make one obvious link and you get ten reasons why it's different. It really doesn't matter. Trust me].

Obviously, I've hardly been anywhere so it doesn't count for much.

The Hasselblad was with me - but no tripod so I hand-held it and used a bigger aperture than one might on such an occasion  A bigger aperture than Toots would have used anyway. He's Mr f64 if only he had an aperture that small on his beloved Isolette.

I don't know why I bother. Honestly!

No, I didn't drink

Actually I did. Coffee to start with - with my cornflakes and soya milk then a green tea chaser. Maybe it all went to my elbows and my old Mum used to say. Looks like it anyway. I was trying for ART. You know, things you hang on the wall and look at - more than once.

Eve & I went to the Modern Art Gallery in Edinburgh once. Just the once though the cafe was excellent. All fresh, raw salads and things, fair-trade water and a view. Inside the gallery was a sheeps in smelly stuff to preserve it. Poor thing, what had it done to deserve that. Upset Damien Hirst obviously.

I loved Sir Eduardo Paoliozzi's studio that is situated in one of the buildings. I could play in that for ages. I need a studio here in the village really. Just a small one - with a view.


BTW; Just so you understand, these are NOT landscapes, they are portraits of places. Now you know!

I learnt something..

See that? That's a wall in Stornoway. Not any old wall mind you. 

I was recently out in Stornoway with Mr Toots Wilson, ex-something planning in the council before he retired. Knows a thing or two about buildings and passed a little of his vast knowledge to me on this day. This wall is not any old wall, it bounds one side of Barvas House - I think it's called that. May have heard it wrong but it is a house, that's definite. The wall was made in four parts - obvious because of the lines one can see where the shuttering was. The stones within were from a beach and, apparently, twas one of the first concrete things on the island - or something like that anyway. They love concrete up here. It's everywhere - even poured concrete house ornamentation. Eh? And bus shelters. Bus shelters made of concrete that will still be there long after humans have all left this planet one way or another.

I'm trying to please.

It is another snap from my stroll on the beach a few days ago. What do you expect? Something new! Eh?
Anyway, the Perkeo was on a roll by now. Capturing the essence of the place with abandon- although not always with accuracy. The was both accurate and abandoned. Perhaps not abandoned actually. I could hear the grazing committee dialling my house as I wrote that - so I'll retract it. Immediately.

Although having said that, there are a few crofts that don't seem to get much use these days. Not even a sheeps on them.

There was an eagle that looked somewhat golden, behind my right ear

That's better. Proper winter's day on the beach just over there [pointing uselessly to my left]. The sun was shining yesterday don't you know.

We exchanged pleasantries at the shoppe as we bought our 'things'. Lots of lovelies there that morning going out now one can stand upright and not have to hold onto something to prevent an unexpected swim in the sea.

Yes, I told you before that I walked here. Just over there [again pointing in a totally useless way at the screen but feeling better for it] along the top of the dunes after strolling down there [pointing etc....] on the way up the sand. Then I espied an eagle soaring up on the breeze, looking for rabbits no doubt for a nice furry breakfast. Golden hues glinting in the sun. I turned as it was time to shoot a shot with the Perkeo and the eagle flew just behind my right ear. Not literally you understand! What do you take me for ? A Mad woman?

Don't answer that.